Aiota Photography
Empower + Inspire | Boudoir Photography | Vancouver, BC
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Thoughts on The Fear of Being "Too Much" | Gorgeous Client photoshoot | Vancouver Boudoir

Recently, I catch myself pausing before I speak or do; more and more I seem to choose the path of least resistance, the path where I’m safe from criticism. The other day I even hesitated to post a boudoir photo of myself because the “oh, what will they think” thoughts rolled in. I encourage women so strongly to be the most “them” versions of themselves, especially when it come to embracing their sensuality, but sometimes I struggle to practice what I preach. I don’t like to admit this because in my mind I prefer to see myself as above needing others’ approval.

I find so often we do this, especially women, this fear of being too much. We know who need to be in order to be loved and accepted. At least, we think we do, don’t we? Would we really know? How often do we test these theories of what we “shouldn’t say”? It pains me to see other women fall into these boxes we think we need to live in.It pains me even more when I do it myself.

Truthfully, you, nor I, can morph to fit someone else’s box. You will always be you. I will always be me. This shouldn’t be a disappointing fact, but a beautiful one: who we are at our core is determined to exist in this world.

There is comfort in keeping yourself hidden and safe; I know that too well. But life isn’t comfortable, being human isn’t “comfortable”. In order to experience the greatest connections to others and ourselves getting comfortable with discomfort is non-negotiable. We won’t accept love fully if we don’t allow ourselves to be fully seen.

Imagine living in a world where everyone fully expressed themselves, not the watered down BS we pretend to be. Isn’t it exhausting? This act we all put on. I do it, you do it, the woman who seems to have it altogether with the “perfect” life, she does it. I believe we would all feel more at peace to see others embrace and share the weird, the mess, the confusion, and the quirkiness we all learned to hide.

Next time you catch yourself being wrapped in those worries, I dare you to push through them. Say the words, do the thing, post the damn photo. It doesn’t matter how it’s perceived. Frankly, this isn’t about other people, or person, this is about you and me. I refuse to continue to act out of fear, rather than a place of love, of excitement, of joy.

Boudoir photography is not for everyone, but it is for me, and it might be for you. If somebody thinks we’re “too much” then they’re right. We are “too much”- for them. I don’t want women to tiptoe around to avoid upsetting those around us. I want our words to be loud and actions to be powerful.

Maybe I even want resistance and yes, even criticism, to show for it. I challenge the both of us to live fully, to live honestly, to live with unapologetic passion and authenticity. This life I crave for myself, and all women, is not one of comfort, but it is one of depth.