Why You're Probably Putting Off A Boudoir Shoot, & Why You Shouldn't | Sexy Spring Photoshoot | Boudoir Photography
I've gone through photos from client boudoir photoshoots, and I've compared that to my webpage and my blog, and I see that I probably now have around 55 sessions that I haven't blogged about, or even updated on my page, and have barely posted about on Insta. I keep trying to change this habit, and I see the pain point - I think everything should be perfect. A habit of perfectionism can serve us in some ways, but for goddsakes, I just need to post! It's important that potential clients see my work, and also learn a little bit about me in the process.
So I'm just going to post.
We're a few weeks into Spring, and I hope that for you spring breathes new life and possibility into your world. Opportunities for change, for growth, for a step forward and for a chance to let go of anything from a past that we need to let go of. I hope that you all can relate - I think that letting go is a lesson that we must all learn, one way or another.
Of course that's not to say it can't be fun! Spring is all about fun, don't you think? I'm very much inspired by nature - I look to nature for parallels and to draw comparisons to our human lives, which are a mix between technology and nature; technology and nature intersecting. I like that I can look to nature for clues and answers, and nature helps me to gain some objectivity when I'm too wrapped up in something, otherwise.
Spring also has its goofy moments - its bursting forth in the forms of blooms and bumblebees seem drunk, going from one stalk of lavender to the next. Maybe it's a day of blinding sun, or maybe it's a day of downpour, and the sky is a heavy blanket of grey dampness; unrelenting rain. Spring's mood is often shifting and unpredictable, but it is always, always productive. Spring in Vancouver, especially.
I often compare the feminine to nature - is that cliche? I like this comparison because it is beautiful and marvellous and incredible, but imperfect. Straight lines are straight - technology is full of those straight lines. Nature has them, sometimes, (in rock formations, yes) but not very much else in nature is straight.
It's important to consider this word, 'perfection' and your relationship to what it means.
In the early days, I had no idea what I was going to learn and discover through shooting boudoir. I had an interest in women being empowered in their sexuality (a feminist since birth, I swear!) and a desire to help other women express that. Of course, it's impossible to put into words everything I've learned so far (but hell, I'll still try!) - I think though, one thing that I've learned that could be the most helpful to clients is about the body, and this idea of 'perfection'.
We're sort of led to believe that there are a handful of different body types, a few molds you can fit into, and if you don't, for shame!! Then of course, there's the 'ideal' body type (I still don't know what that is, honestly), and that's like, the boogieman (hint: it's terrifying and it doesn't exist). Every body is different, and every body is unique, and every body is beautiful in its own uniqueness. You realize that there's no real 'better or worse' - just differences, and this diversity and these differences are beautiful not compared next to each other, but on their own.
So when I talk to women (I was recently at a wedding show where I got to speak with a lot of people, face-to-face), what I commonly hear is a) I'm not confident enough and b) I need to lose weight first.
Can I ask you, how much of your life have you spent thinking that you needed to lose weight? How many years have you spent telling yourself, over and over, and over, that you just aren't good enough; that you're good, but you're not good enough? My request is that you just think about it, compare that number - years spent feeling satisfied with your body, vs. years spent feeling dissatisfied with your body, divided by your age. How much of your life have you spent feeling like you weren't good enough?
And look, I don't think that respecting your body and being fit or wanting to be fit is bad at all! But the distinction here is this, are you empowering yourself to make choices and changes, or are you feeling disempowered in the ability to make changes and in having choices? This is what's really important. Because you can be working towards getting more fit, but still be happy with yourself, as you are, right now. This duality can, and should, exist. I keep promising to talk about why it’s awesome to dedicate part of your session to doing nudes, and I promise, I will get there! Just know for now, that doing nude photos removes the restrictions and size labels that clothing puts on you. Free yourself from that BS. And of course, for those of you wondering, they are tasteful nudes - they are shot underneath bedsheets/on the bed and they look beautiful and feminine!
When a client comes to me for a boudoir shoot, I don't give a f* about her shape or size - I know that she's already beautiful. I also know that 5-10-15 lbs is not really going to make a difference in your photos. And I definitely know that no matter what, you are beautiful, and you're going to walk away with the photos of yourself to prove it. An experienced boudoir photographer knows this. And sometimes, and hey even I can be guilty of this myself, it is difficult for us to see the beauty in who we are, and photographs can help to reflect that back to us, and serve as reminders of this beauty.
I did two viewings today with clients, post session. They were both blown away with how gorgeous they looked. They had moments where they said, “That is not me!” and moments where they said, “It’s really nice to see yourself in this way.”
I promise you, it is really, really, really nice to see yourself this way. Every single one of you.
You think that you can’t look like the clients I’m posting about on my blog or Instagram? You can, and you will.