Change, building new relationships, and nude boudoir photoshoots!

“Change is painful, Growth is painful But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.” – Pat Moore

I don’t know how it’s April, but it’s April!

It can be argued that the only constant we have in our lives is change. Change is relentless, and we deal with it at every twist and turn in our day-to-day realities. It’s what makes life interesting and worth living, but also frustrating and challenging. Adjusting to newness - new friends, new family members, new homes, new jobs, new life, or even new loss, can trigger in us those old patterns and conditioning that we’re always working to outgrow.

Some of us may have difficulty in coping with change (um, that would be me for sure!) and who doesn’t rely on, and adore consistency? But the gap between what’s current and what’s yet to be is just part of life; the unknown. The future is a vast and wide open territory - the uncharted seas on which we’re sailing in little boats and, last I checked, none of us have a magic 8 ball that can tell us much of anything about it other than “Ask again later.” Or, at least I’d like to think that it’s vast and uncharted - maybe it’s striking a balance between predictable and boring, and wildly uncertain.

Change isn’t bad. It’s our perception of it and attitude towards it that tends to demonize it a bit. We’re creatures of habit and we don’t like our habits shaken, in fact we’re downright resistant towards leaning out of our accepted comfort zones, and damn it all if we’re not going to resist something forced on us unexpectedly by our environment, circumstance, or the people in our lives!

Of course I’m totally waxing philosophical with you because we all know that I’m a huge proponent of positive change that helps one grow. The transformations some of my clients make in front of my camera for their boudoir sessions, and in life, is absolutely mind blowing and wonderful. I have watched so many women go from being shy and uncertain, to shamelessly confident within hours, all because they chose to embrace the challenges presented to them and walk right out out of their comfort zones (by the end of their session, they’re wanting to shoot nude, and I’m always preaching the benefits of doing at least a small part of your session as a nude photoshoot, because when nude, there’s no clothing that’s restricting you and reminding you of your shape or size - but more on that for another blog!) Usually, when clients are coming to me to do a photoshoot, they are celebrating, or mourning, or documenting some kind of change. I see a lot of change, and I hear about a lot of change, and I’m here to give you feedback about, and support you with that change!

Which brings me to the point that our comfort (or discomfort) level can serve a purpose if we are receptive and open to the message it brings about the current situation, place, or relationship we find ourselves in. If we sense discomfort, then we need to question what isn’t aligned to our values of who we are, and where maybe there is an opportunity for us to embrace this discomfort (gently, hopefully), and allow it to ‘stretch’ us. Growing of the self, the expansion of who you are, is not something you can escape! It’ll happen whether you like it or not.

Change is all about sitting with the discomfort to grow and develop our deeper selves. To do this, we must be willing to learn to let go, often even before we know what waits on the other side of letting go. That’s scary, and that’s risky, but every single one of us has to face it at some point or another.

Approaching change with an open mind, grace, and gratitude can help us to be more present to the challenges, so we can reap the benefits of what it has to teach us. And you know, sometimes it’s really, really difficult - maybe you’re grieving, and in that case, you’re just doing your best to survive the days. But then, change can be really, really exciting - maybe you’re getting married and starting a new chapter in your life! Learning to accept change as a normal phenomenon, and being comfortable in the unknown space between what is and what will be helps us to be resilient, to adjust and to thrive with the newness.

This was my year; I learned that change was inevitable. But in all of this, I had the most amazing experience - I reached out, and everyone showed up. My family showed up. My friends showed up. My clients showed up. My colleagues showed up. Even strangers showed up. And it made me realize what truly matters in life, where you can find the deepest meaning and the most genuine fulfillment - and that was in my relationships! It seems obvious, but it ended up being really profound for me, because in the moments of stress and trial, I knew that joy and peace could always be found.

And if you don’t have great relationships now? Go out and build them. Do it today. It takes years to build a great relationship, but it only takes minutes to start a new one. There are endless opportunities for you to experience love and joy, and no time like the present.

So get out there. Do something new, something adventurous, and feel free to think and do and feel outside of the box - because, honestly, the status quo isn’t what you truly desire, and you have limitless potential that’s totally worth exploring.