Self Love, Embrace Change | No. 1 Reason Women Do Boudoir | Boudoir Vancouver

Recently, my life has been in a transition phase with lots of shifts and uncertainties, and with that, fear.

While in my mind I like to think I accept change gracefully and with excitement, I find the letting go quite difficult before I’m able to welcome the new. I’m sentimental, very sentimental, a bleeding-heart romantic. I get attached to people, routine, and familiarity; I think we all do.

 I find change quite daunting - especially when I’ve been familiarized with a particular way of being in the world - I sometimes don’t even know where to start when placed on a new path. In times of major life change, even the slightest shift elsewhere can terrify me; changing the artwork on my walls, getting new furniture, changing my route to the studio in the mornings. While newness excites me, I find the sting of chapters ending painful in an irreconcilable way.

 I’m a solver, an advice giver. I love to love. But, in times where I’m sad about these endings, I don’t know what to tell myself; there’s no avoiding, no fixing, no answer, just saying “goodbye”. I try to be there for myself in the same way that I’m there for my clients - open, accepting, compassionate, loving. I hope you make an effort to be there for yourself in that same way, also.

 I know that there are two parts to change - for every ending, there’s a beginning.

Change requires a lot of trust. Right now, I’m only seeing the endings and that which I’m fearful of - it’s time to trust the new beginnings. I have to trust myself in making decisions that align with who I am. We could all use to trust ourselves a bit more, and to be disciplined in the face of the unknown.

With change, and with the fears, there’s a lot of self-reflection, life reflection. While I’m entering this next chapter of my life, I have to figure out what I want it to look like, and what I don’t want it to look like. I won’t have an answer overnight, but I find these bigger questions being tossed around my mind, especially now.

We often wait for these big transitions to evaluate our lives. I also find we wait for these transitions to reinvent ourselves. I remember when I first moved to Vancouver, not knowing anyone, how invigorating it was to think I could be whoever I wanted to be moving forward. It was a fresh slate, the freshest slate I’d ever experienced. Nobody would be comparing me to who I was; they would just accept the woman I presented.

While changing cities, changing jobs, changing friendships and relationships, milestone birthdays, or any other big major life shift allows us to reflect on who we are and try new things, I don’t think we need to wait for these big shifts to do so. In fact, I highly encourage not waiting - often do these “big” shifts happen anyways?

Maybe you think it isn’t “like” you to book a solo trip, or go to a dance class, or maybe do a boudoir shoot. But, we wake up every day and decide what’s “in character” for us.  We decide what “fits”, and we restrict ourselves. Change is a decision, but so is staying the same.

Women reach out to me most when they’re going through a major life change - a divorce, a marriage, a graduation, a change emotionally, a change physically, a milestone birthday, a pregnancy, a birth, a failure, a success…an ending, a beginning. If there’s anything that’s consistent about my clients (and trust me, there’s no ‘mold’ or stereotype - I get all kinds of clients from all walks of life), it’s that they’re going through some kind of life change and they’re looking to go forward with confidence and self-love, to reflect on who they were with compassion but also to embrace change with courage. Boudoir is a bit like therapy - I say it often. And I can relate to facing massive life changes - I’ve been through many. I can also relate to just needing something to feel good about yourself, to feel beautiful, a confidence boost. A boudoir photoshoot can help bring about a new self-awareness and self-esteem - a chance to see yourself and love yourself. If you’re not the “type” of woman to do a boudoir shoot but you find yourself thinking about one, if you think you couldn’t look like that but that other girl can, well, I know you’re the “type”. If you’re drawn to something, you have it in you. I promise.

We constantly learn about ourselves and uncover different layers of what makes us the person we are; if something you’re drawn to seems out-of-character, it’s just out of the character you’ve told yourself you are. But, you’re more than who you tell yourself to be; give yourself permission to evolve.

My life is changing, and with it, so am I. I don’t think I can recall a more rocky and challenging time, but it’s also been exciting, and joyful, and hopeful more than I can recall as well.

If you’re also undergoing a lot of change, I hope your goodbyes are smooth and your beginnings are full of hope.

I hope you find the courage to embrace these times, to embrace the woman these changes might bring out in you. 

I also hope you find the courage to invoke change if it’s needed. Sometimes life pushes us, but sometimes we need to push ourselves.